


lemongrass and sleep

by howlingheartdemigod (helpmeimstuckon)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Jealousy, Mutual Pining, Unresolved Romantic Tension, it's a good time, yasha is jealous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 04:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18087539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helpmeimstuckon/pseuds/howlingheartdemigod
Summary: “Nice to have a friend back.” He said, shifting a little as he settled. “You were unconscious, but Keg is, pretty cool from the few hours I knew her.”“Yes, I’ve been informed. Keg is the,” She sighed, waving a hand vaguely towards the bar “The greatest ever, sure, right.”-Yasha doesn't know why, but when Keg stumbles back into their lives for a night, she absolutely wants to kill her.





	lemongrass and sleep

**Author's Note:**

> originally a prompt fill on tumblr  
> from bloodyshadow1 "for beauyasha if you're still looking for prompts, yasha is jealous of the women around beau, maybe dairon or keg, or jester, or cali, just whoever and doesn't know why"  
> find me there at howlingheartdemigod  
> -  
> title from she by dodie

Yasha wanted to hurt that pain in the ass Dwarf. She wanted to use her sword to smash her and her loud armor, and her stupid cigarettes, and her stubble, and her _fuck, everything about her_ into the fucking ground. She hated Keg, she had decided, hours before when the dwarf had come stumbling her way into the bar they were in, only to be greeted with a warm reception from fucking everyone, but especially Beau.

Yasha turned her gaze from where she was glaring at Keg, talking to Beau and Nott at the bar, and glared into her drink instead. She wanted to stab something. She wanted to stab _Keg_ , which, what a dumb name. She settled for twirling her knife into the table. She heard shuffling towards the table, and lifted her dark gaze, to see Fjord coming near, holding two drinks. He set one in front of her, keeping the other in his hand as he joined her at the table.

“Nice to have a friend back.” He said, shifting a little as he settled. “You were unconscious, but Keg is, pretty cool from the few hours I knew her.”

“Yes, I’ve been informed. Keg is the,” She sighed, waving a hand vaguely towards the bar “The greatest ever, sure, right.” Yasha picked up her drink, taking a long chug, emptying almost half of it. She looked back towards the bar, watching Beau lean back against the bar on her elbows, flexing, showing off. She swallowed, seeing Keg’s gaze look Beau up and down. Keg gave a little shrug, making an so-so gesture with her hand, then they all three started laughing.

Yasha turned away, staring down at the table, tapping her fingers. She looked up to Fjord, who was looking at her, a smug smile on his face.

She glared at him. “What?”

“I’ve never seen you like this.” He said. “Jealous is a new look on you.”

Yasha pulled back, blinking hard, head shaking. “I am not… That is… I have _never_ … How do I know you...” Yasha looked back over to Beau, her heart twisting. She felt something well up in her, seeing Beau’s smile, seeing her lift a cup to her lips, seeing her shoulders lift in a chuckle, seeing her glance over and catch Yasha’s gaze. Yasha looked away, looked back to Fjord. “Oh no.” she muttered.

Fjord laughed a little quietly, then he looked over to the bar. “If it makes you feel better, from what I can tell they aren’t rekindling things. Just friends.”

“Rekindling?” She asked, feeling a little nauseous.

The humor left Fjords expression. “Oh.” He said, looking over to where Beau and Keg stood. “You… That’s… You were unconscious.” He said again, shuffling uncomfortably.

“So… they… That’s… Keg seems lovely.” Yasha said, picking her knife back up to twist into the table. “Just lovely.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you, Yasha.” Fjord said.

“I am not upset. I have no reason to be upset. Beauregard can fuck whoever she would like.” She said, waving a hand at him.

Fjord squinted. “You’re allowed to be upset. I thought you two were kind of.. making something happen.”

“I am married Fjord.”

Fjord took a breath through his nose, then looked back to her. “Remember what you said at her grave?” He asked. “You told us she came to you. You told us she wants you to be happy. Seems to me like you’re denying yourself that for no reason.”

This was all a lot to process. Too much to process. She pushed to her feet, the table rattling, from the force of it. There was a brief lapse in noise throughout the tavern, as people glanced at the tall woman, now towering over her table mate, before they slowly turned back to their own conversation partners.

“I am going to go to bed.” Yasha said, picking up the tankard. “Good night, Fjord.” She took a few seconds to chug the drink. “Thank you, for the ale.”

Fjord lifted a hand in goodbye, having the decency to look a little embarrassed for making her upset. “See you in the morning, Yasha, I hope.”

She gave a nod, and swallowed. “I will. I... Thank you. For the conversation.” She meant it, despite the turmoil it was causing. Fjord was looking out for her, in his own brash way.

Yasha headed off towards the stairs, feeling absolutely dizzy. She wasn’t sure if it was from the ale, or the series of realizations. She decided to believe it was the ale, and hoped it would go away by morning.

* * *

Beau watched Yasha run up the stairs, frowning a little.

“Sheesh.” The voice drew Beau’s gaze back to Keg. “What’s crawled up her ass.”

“Yasha gets kind of like that in groups, but she’s good company one on one.” Nott piped up, before taking a drink from her flask.

Beau shook her head, eyes back on the stairs. “That wasn’t normal sulking off, that was like… storming off.” She turned back to Keg and Nott, brow furrowed. “Not as common.”

Keg hummed, eyes scanning Beau’s face. Beau nearly recoiled from the intensity of the look. “You should hit that.”

Nott choked on her drink, Beau was sure she would have too if she’d had anything in her mouth. “Keg, that’s…” Beau sputtered. “First off, if you want to hook up again, don’t go telling me to try and hook up with someone else-”

“Beau, as good as you were, that would be verging on friends with benefits, not just a one night thing, which, I don’t do.”

“I need to walk away if you two are going to talk about fucking for an extended period of time. I am a married woman, I am… I am flustered, I have nothing to contribute.” Nott shook her head, skin tinged dark as she wandered away.

Keg snorted, then turned back to Beau. “I think you want to hit that.” She said, continuing regardless of Nott. “You look at her like you want to, yeah?”

Beau took a breath, looking past Keg. “It’s not that simple, Keg. Yasha…” Beau swallowed, thinking back to Xhorhas, thinking back to a shallow grave, thinking back to helping Yasha lay flowers across the rough dirt, thinking back to wanting to reach out, wanting to hold her hand, wanting to pull her close, wanting to comfort her, but stopping herself, because Yasha was _married_ . Yasha had made a _commitment_. The sort Beau wasn’t at all capable of. “Yasha was… She’s married and her wife is dead.” Beau looked down into her drink. “Just don’t… Don’t bring it up, she doesn’t like to talk about it, but like…”

Keg nodded, letting out a little huff. “Fuck.” She said, nodding. “That’s rough. But if her wife is dead she isn’t married anymore, so…”

“Not like that Keg.” Beau said, head shaking. “She… It’s a for life kind of thing. I’m not a for life kind of person anyway.” Beau looked back towards the stairs, heart aching.

She felt Keg’s gaze shift to see the look on her face, felt Keg’s energy change, she looked over just as some kind of light clicked in Beau’s eyes. “Oh.” she said, nodding a little.

“What?” Beau scowled, feeling somewhat exposed with that knowing look on Keg’s face in front of a room full of people.

“You’re fucked, bro.” Keg said simply, shrugging. She took a drink, then set her cup aside, reaching to scratch as her beard, somewhat longer than the last time they talked. “I recognize it.”

“I’m not… Keg don’t be…” Beau swallowed. “Fuck, I thought I was doing a better job of hiding it.”

Keg snorted. “What’s the issue then? She really not interested?”

Beau shrugged, and nodded. “I mean, that’s a big part of it. She really was married. Her wife was, by all accounts, incredible, so she can’t be in another relationship, but beyond that… I couldn’t just… It couldn’t just be a one time thing. Not for me. So, on the off chance that’s all she wanted, I wouldn’t… It can’t happen.”

Keg nodded a little. “You could be a for life kind of person for her, but she’s already a for life kind of person for a dead woman.”

Beau nodded, eyes low. “Yeah. Fuck.” she took a long drink. “You sure you don’t want to get laid? I could use the distraction.” she asked, only half joking.

“I don’t fuck people who are in love with another person, Beau.” Keg replied pointedly. “Even if it’s as shit of a situation as yours, honestly.”

Beau nodded, taking a breath. “That seems fair.” Beau looked over, pressing her lips, thinking about Yasha. Thinking about her smile, thinking about her strength, her heart, _her wife_. A little voice always reminded her of that these days, can’t even enjoy her own daydreams anymore. “Can I just be totally honest?” Keg nodded. “Marriage always seemed stupid as hell. Like.. an obstacle at best, a trap at worst. But the way she talks about it, it sounds… fucking beautiful. It sounds like something I would want. I’m jealous of a dead woman, Keg. Because I am a horrible person, apparently.”

Keg smiled a little around a sip. “Sounds like you’re a person.” She corrected. “As someone who’s been married, we even made it to our one hour anniversary, I kinda get the trap or obstacle perspective more, but… you know, to each their own.” Keg finished her drink, got a new one from the bartender, then gave Beau a cocky smile. “I’m gonna go challenge Fjord to an armwrestling match. You look like shit, emotionally, so you should go sleep.”

Beau gave her a smile, then a nod. “If you’re here in the morning, I owe you a drink for listening to me.”

“Well, if I didn’t have motivation to be here in the morning before…” Keg gave Beau a punch in the arm, then headed off, leaving Beau with a half full cup of warm ale, and too much to think about.

Beau shot the remaining booze, and headed off to bed, head spinning with feelings and alcohol. She hoped the alcohol at least would be gone by morning.


End file.
